Are you at a crossroads? At some point, we all face these pivotal moments in our lives. I’d like to welcome an old friend, Lane Gosnay, a certified transformational coach, as today’s guest blogger. Lane  helps clients shift their mindsets, break limiting beliefs, and align their inner values with their external goals.

                                                               At a Crossroads?

Sometimes Our Past Knows the Way

EVEN COACHES NEED COACHING THROUGH A CROSSROADS

One of the most surprising things I’ve learned as a coach is that we don’t always react to what’s happening in front of us. Often, we’re reacting to something that happened years—or even decades—ago.

A sound. A smell. A conversation. A situation that feels strangely familiar. Our minds may not recognize the connection, but our bodies often do.

Recently, I was coaching a woman who was preparing for a client call she believed might involve a discussion about sexual assault. Although she had never experienced sexual assault herself, she was overwhelmed with anxiety. She told me she had spent her entire life avoiding stories, conversations, movies, and books on the subject.

As we explored what she was feeling, I asked her to close her eyes and notice where the anxiety lived in her body. She described tightness in her chest, a lump in her throat, difficulty breathing, and a crawling sensation across her skin.

I then asked a simple question:

“HAVE YOU EVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE?” A KEY CROSSROADS QUESTION

After a long pause, she quietly answered, “Yes.”

She remembered being five years old and undergoing bladder surgery. She needed a catheter, but no one had explained what was happening or why. As a child, she experienced the procedure as frightening and confusing. She couldn’t understand why the doctors were hurting her or why her mother wasn’t stopping them.

Although decades had passed, her body was still responding from the perspective of that five-year-old little girl.

With her permission, we explored the memory together. I asked whether it was possible the doctors were trying to help her. Then I asked if it was possible her mother had been scared, too, and simply wanted her daughter to get well.

Almost immediately, everything changed.

She sat up straighter. Her arms uncrossed. Her breathing slowed. When I asked about the tightness in her chest and throat, she realized much of it had disappeared.

The memory hadn’t changed. Her perspective had.

 By seeing the experience through the eyes of the adult she is today, she was able to release enough of the fear to remain calm, present, and fully available for her client.

 That’s the power of coaching.

 Sometimes we don’t need more advice. We don’t need someone to solve our problems. We need someone to listen deeply, ask the right questions, and help us discover what’s been quietly influencing us all along.

 If you’re standing at a crossroads and aren’t sure which direction to take, it may not be because the path ahead is unclear. It may be because something behind you is still asking to be understood.

Even coaches need coaching. The rest of us probably do, too.

— Lane Gosnay /Crossroads Leadership Studio

Thanks, Lane.

Lane is a graduate of Texas A&M University with a degree in Marine Transportation. Additionally, she has received her Happiness Life Coach certification from IAP Career College and holds a Transformational Coaching certification from ELITE Coaching University. You can contact her at  Crossroads Leadership Studio.

LAST THOUGHTS ON CROSSROADS

As humans, walking alone isn’t necessarily the best way to face life’s challenges. While talking to friends is a great source of comfort, sometimes that route is not in your best interest. Interacting with a licensed mental health therapist or a transitional coach gives you the assurance your communications are confidential.

I’d love it if you’d join me!

Monthly Newsletter  Signup

News, reading suggestions, discounts, and more!

Weekly Blog Delivered to your Email Signup