The Great Resignation continues unabated. People are quitting their jobs in droves because of COVID. Many began to rethink how, where, and why they work. By November 2021, a record 4.5 million workers left their jobs, according to the Labor Department.
The plight of teachers explains the movement. One in three teachers is currently thinking of resignation. Rather than putting their angst into words, I’m sharing this absolutely fabulous picture by Al Abbazia. (Thanks to my brother for discovering this.)
Consider that the median pay of a U.S. kindergarten and elementary school teacher in 2020 was $60,660 per year and requires a bachelor’s degree. Median means half the teachers make less than $60,660 and half make more.
THE GREAT RESIGNATION JOB ALTERNATIVES
Why suffer through all of this when you can earn upwards of $1,000 a pop for your fart in a jar? No education necessary.
Yes, you heard me right. FARTS. Adult content creator and 90-Day Fiancé star Stephanie Matto claims to have made close to $200,000 just in farts. She went on TikTok making posts about the day in the life of a fart-jar girl. But that’s not the only thing she sells:
“There’s one guy who routinely pays me to make videos of me squishing my face. So there’s that. There’s one guy who has a uvula fetish, the little dangling thing in your throat. He pays me for pictures of my uvula. People have asked me for panties, bras or lingerie, toenail clippings, all sorts of things like that. But farts are a big fetish online — there’s sites that are dedicated to that specifically. So I always knew it was a thing. I just couldn’t believe that people actually wanted to smell my farts.”
Think about it. This is a low overhead business. No student loans to pay off. No car. No office. All you need is a cell phone, a free TikTok account, toenail clippers, jars, and cheap packs of underwear from your favorite big box store. Hmm. Maybe she did have to spend a small amount of money launching her own OnlyFans-esque platform, Unfiltrd. But the expenditure was quickly made up by a small number of farts.
“Definitely not losing money, but it it does cut into my earnings. With the first shipment that I sent out, which was 97 fart jars, I made somewhere around $50,000. But when I took into account the cost of shipping and handling and everything else, I mean, I think it was closer to like, $44,000 or $45,000 that I had as my net profit”.
Ninety-seven farts and you have made the same amount of money many teachers net working for an entire school year.
Just a word of warning if you’re entering the fart business. Matto ended up in the emergency room with severe gas pain because of her fart-producing diet. Cabbage soup, sauerkraut, and Kodiak Cakes protein muffins are her go-to’s. Take it slow and easy—don’t be too greedy.
THE END OF THE GREAT RESIGNATION
Will this phenomenon continue into 2022? Professor Anthony Klotz, who coined the term, “The Great Resignation”, predicts it will slow down. However, he believes flexible work arrangements will be the norm, not the exception. He also predicts that the market for remote jobs will become more competitive.
Me, I’m not so sure. Currently, I’m evaluating my business model. Gas does seem to plague me, so the fart business is intriguing. Anyone want some dirty socks? I’ll sell them to you for $100 a sock, free shipping included.
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Oh Marie! That is priceless! Who would have ever thought we’d come to this?
Strange times some days it seems we’ve gone the way of Roman decadence. I hope that’s as far as we follow them. Thanks for the laugh 🤣