Fruit fly failure. That’s right. I have been defeated by a squadron of fruit flies. I used to think I was invincible. Smart, bright, once upon a time athletic. And now I sit, wallowing in my own self-pity that I cannot rid my office of them. For the past week, they have swarmed around me as I work on the computer, trying to complete the review of my new manuscript, The Refugees, Family Threads, which is due June 5^th. They have addled me to the point that I worry about meeting the deadline.

I’ll start my tale of woe by defining the minuscule creature that has plagued me for the last week.

WHAT IS A FRUIT FLY?

The name is news to me. I thought my tormentors were gnats. However, Artificial Intelligence (AI) let me know that, in addition to being unable to control an organism I can hardly see, I am incredibly illiterate when it comes to insects.

To the uninformed, Insects Limited describes the fruit fly:

Fruit Fly Adults: Adults are 3 mm (0.125 inches) long. Common Fruit Flies have red eyes. The thorax is brown/tan and the abdomen black.
Fruit Fly Eggs: Eggs are 0.5 mm (0.02 inches) long. They are yellow in color and similar in shape to a grain of rice.
Fruit Fly Larvae: Larvae AKA (maggot) are 3-4mm (0.125 inches) long and is wormlike and pale white/yellow in color.
Fruit Fly Pupae: Pupae are yellowish brown and 3 mm (0.125 inches) long.

My vision is so poor that I can’t see its eyes. However, I have become skilled in spotting them as they hover around me. Apparently, they are attracted to the carbon dioxide in my breath.

WHAT DOES THE FRUIT FLY DO TO ME?

For the past week, the G.. D… things have been buzzing around my face, distracting my concentration as I attempt to fan them away. Soon, I started trying to eradicate them by hitting them, but they are quicker than a house fly.

Then, finally, I became angry and, thinking they were gnats, began looking for a solution to my torment by consulting AI.

What I found horrified me. Do you know that they can live 45 to 50 days? That a female will lay an average of 500 eggs in her lifetime? Will this nightmare ever end?

HOW TO RID YOURSELF OF A FRUIT FLY

A sickening feeling overwhelmed me as I read the directions to rid my sanctuary of the pests.

According to HomeTeam Pest Defense:

First, identify the breeding sites by checking for overripe fruits, vegetables, decaying organic matter in your kitchen, garbage disposal, and compost bins. Once identified, promptly dispose of any infested items by sealing them in a plastic bag and discarding them in an outdoor trash bin to prevent further breeding.

(Full confession here: I eventually found that the nest was in the kitchen trash can. I hadn’t emptied it promptly. Lesson learned.)

Next, thoroughly clean your kitchen and dining areas, paying close attention to countertops, sinks, and garbage cans to eliminate any food residue or spills that may attract fruit flies. The kitchen drain might be a hidden breeding ground for fruit flies, but bacterial digesters poured down the drain should destroy any eggs or fruits there.

(Now, the rest of the full confession. I had just cleaned the office kitchen thoroughly about two weeks ago, and the thought of doing it again has left me cold. Hmm. Maybe after I finish this blog, I should at least clean the counter and flush out the kitchen sink drain.)

WHO ELSE BATTLES THE FRUIT FLY?

The only realization that eases my angst is that I’m not the only one who battles this minuscule monster. The internet is full of helpful hacks.

WHAT SOLUTION FOR FRUIT FLY INFESTATION DOES NOT WORK?

I have tried to kill the rest with a concoction of apple cider vinegar with a drop of dish soap. Unfortunately, I have the concoction sitting on my computer stand and have watched several wander to the edge of the liquid, only to take off. Watching them has distracted me from my work.

LAST THOUGHTS ON THE FRUIT FLY

Sigh. If I am going to meet my deadline, I may need to evacuate the premises. The problem is, my limited vision forces me to work with two large 25” computer screens. I’ll keep you posted on whether I survive the infestation.

Do you think a face mask like beekeepers use would work?  

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