mice defeat womanMousecapades will never end. I stand before you a broken, defeated soul. Mournful echoes of my alma mater’s song have been twisting through my mind this week, leaving me bereft.


The mice of Texas are upon me,

All the live long day.

The mice of Texas are upon me,

I cannot get away.

I Do not think I can escape them,

At night, or early in the morn.

The mice of Texas are upon me,

’til Gabriel blows his horn.


If you have been following my saga, you will know that my ongoing skirmishes with the rodents have been harrowing.


Mousecapades A Dustup

Mousecapades: The Finale?

Mousecapades Redux

Mousecapades 2020

More Mousecapades



One morning last week, as my husband was sitting on the throne, he called out to me, “They’re baaaack.” One of the creatures had come from behind the toilet and made its way to the bathroom linen closet.

 Then and there the realization sunk in. Winning is not an option for me.


I have failed.

I will fail again.

I will always fail.


The mouse is more powerful than the trap.


Dutifully I put poison in the closet while setting two traps with peanut butter in the bathroom and kitchen. Several days later the kitchen snare captured the tiny intruder, who was unceremoniously dumped into the yard. Nothing since, though the bait remains. Time to remove them though, as they are a constant reminder that you can’t fool Mother Nature. And I know they’re just biding their time.

Apparently these pests have staying power because they’re resourceful and smarter than your average bear. Truth be told, they love my home because its warm and cozy, with lots of good stuff to eat. They’re safe there from the hawks that menace them overhead. Thank goodness I store the gin for my martinis in the freezer and my olives in the fridge or they’d probably consume my only means of coping.

Meanwhile, an old enemy is increasingly encroaching on my territory and turning my attention to this infestation is paramount. Not the feral hogs, which I’m still strategizing about, but Asian lady beetles. These suckers pretend to be ladybugs, but they bite and stink when you squash them. They simply love my office.


Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy in Las Tortugas—mighty Marie has struck out.




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